‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lab

The samples were all refrigerated, some comps and some grabs.

The flasks were hung by their ring stands with care,

and the filters were snug in the desiccator, all tared.

And I in my lab coat, my goggles and gear,

Did one last QC check to end up the year.

When up in the fume hood there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And there in the lab was a jolly old man,

His red suit all sooty, a flask in his hand.

“It was just a distillation”, he said with a smile,

“But the sucker blew up and it threw me a mile!”

So I loaned him a spill kit, to clean up his mess,

And called up Hazmat, to take care of the rest.

Then he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And put gifts in all the lab coats, then turned with a jerk

Then he Twittered a bit on his cell phone in prose,

And tapping the Send button up the fumehood he rose.

Up on the roof with his reindeer again,

He whistled and shouted and called them by name.

“On Pyrex, on Erlenmeyer, on Barnstead and Beaker!

On Kjeldahl, on Millipore, on Winkler and Fleaker!

He sprang to his sleigh, but before I could yell “Wait!”,

He flew off into the night, and right into our security gate!

As he picked himself up, and reloaded his gear,

he said, “That darned thing sure wasn’t there last year!”

But his sleigh was all busted, (and I swear this is true,)

I sprang into action, and loaned him my old Subaru

And I heard him exclaim, as he put it in gear,

“Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!”

12/24/2009